The Shrunken Sister
by FanofPnF
Summary: When Candace gets hit by Doofenshmirtz's Child-Inator, she is forced to wait around until the boys finish building a machine that can change her back. Which would be simple, except some events surrounding Isabella's latest rejection by Phineas spiral into a situation where Candace gradually begins to see her formerly little brother in a new light. Features hints of Ferbella!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Phineas and Ferb.**

 **Author's Note:** _All right, this story, crossposted from Archive of Our Own, is the first story I've ever written for this fandom, and the first I've written for a fandom as big as this. And when your first story for a fandom is a vaguely incestuous one, you'd better make sure the story is rooted in the fandom continuity. The "I know it sounds weird, but it's actually not too far from what they did in episode X" defense. And thus this story is riddled with references to episodes. If you don't like that, you can still click on the 'back' link now. Just saying._

 _Why did I choose to write a Phindace story? Well, I was first introduced to the greatness of this show through the blog of a fellow fanfiction writer, which was about incest shipping. It's a long story, but I went into the Phineas and Ferb fandom actively trying to ship Phineas and Candace, so it was hardly a surprise that I wound up doing that. It was only after getting more into the show that I started being interested in other couples - first Ferbnessa, and later Ferbella. I still have a hard time picking between the two - Ferbnessa is easily my favorite of all semi-canon couples - but I'm leaning more towards Ferbella at the moment. And that's not just because I want Isabella to steer clear of Phineas - Ferbella really is a great pairing in its own right. But never mind my shipping preferences, I'm sure they will all become clear as you read on._

 _This story is shaped like an episode, explaining why it doesn't stray that far off-course and snaps more or less back to normal by the end. It's mostly about Candace and to a lesser extent Phineas, but it does have a Doofenshmirtz-and-Perry subplot. Also, while Phindace is the main focus, it does feature subtle hints of Ferbella (or at least I think they're subtle). Again, if you don't like all this, you can still escape._

 _You may think the story (certainly at first - I think the later chapters are better, but you might beg to differ) is overly stereotypical, the humor is dumb and the title is really lame (and I'd agree on the last one; suggestions are welcome). This is the first time I write a story for such an inherently humorous show, so you might consider my attempts at jokes really lousy. If you want to say something about that or if you have other constructive criticism, feel free to comment. Just so you know in advance, 'scrap the story altogether' does not fit my definition of constructive criticism._

 _Finally, I apologize for the long Author's Note and urge you to read and enjoy the story if you want to, or leave if you don't. It's all up to you._

 **Chapter One**

It was an ordinary day at the Flynn-Fletcher household. The car was in the driveway, Lawrence and Linda were getting inside it, and Candace was…

"Mom mom mom mom mom mom mom!"

Ah yes. An ordinary day.

Candace's sprint came to a halt right next to the car. "What is it, Candace?" her mother asked.

"Mom, while you and Dad are gone to the antique convention, I'm in charge for the day, right?" the teenage girl asked eagerly.

Linda sighed, gave her husband a knowing glance, and then nodded. "Yes, under the usual conditions."

Candace beamed. "Yes! And I'll keep Phineas and Ferb from doing anything, and if they happen to do something after all, they'll be sooooooo busted when you guys come back!"

"Same old, same old" Lawrence mused. "Have fun, darling!"

"Yeah, yeah. Bye Mom! Bye Dad!" Candace greeted her parents as the car backed out the driveway, drove down the street and disappeared from sight. Once more, she was in charge of the house, and more importantly, in charge of her brothers. She had the authority of an adult in the household, and now that Stacy and Jenny weren't home and Jeremy had something going on at work, nothing would be able to distract her from using her adult authority to bust her brothers. The girl started grinning maniacally as she walked into the house.

oooooooo

Meanwhile in the backyard, Phineas and Ferb were leaning against the tree, Perry at their side. As much as Ferb loved to construct with his brother, there was something special about just relaxing with Phineas and occasionally petting Perry. Even though he was just a platypus and didn't do much, Ferb enjoyed spending time with the family pet.

"Hey Phineas" a familiar feminine voice then sounded.

"Hey Isabella" Phineas greeted. Ferb nodded at her.

"Whatcha doing?"

"Nothing" Phineas replied. "We haven't come up with an idea yet. I guess we could just spend some time thinking about the great day we had yesterday, and an idea for today will pop into our minds."

Ferb and Isabella shared a knowing glance as Ferb realized all too well that to their friend yesterday hadn't been such a great day, thanks to Phineas being his oblivious self. It had been Isabella's birthday again, and unlike last time, she hadn't managed to get some alone time with him, despite her and Ferb's own efforts. Phineas had come up with grand schemes again, all involving their friends and amazing ideas that Isabella nevertheless hadn't asked for. Although Ferb knew he hadn't tried too hard to get Isabella what she wanted because he would feel kind of lonely without either of them being there, he had still felt annoyed when Phineas had unknowingly frustrated all of Isabella's attempts for some time apart.

"You know," Isabella then began, "there was one thing that was missing on my birthday compared to last year."

"Really?" Phineas exclaimed. "You should've told me! What was it? Whatever it was, I'll arrange it for you now!"

Isabella blushed. "Well, remember how we went out to get ice cream?"

Phineas nodded. "Yeah! You want to do that again?" Isabella nodded. "That's a great idea! And this time, Ferb and I can take you there together! It's much more fun for three friends to eat ice cream together than two, don't you think?" As usual, he didn't notice the hurt look in Isabella's eyes. "Except… it was kind of expensive. And not too great quality, especially for a birthday girl." Ferb gave Isabella another knowing glance, well aware what this would lead to. "I bet we could do better ourselves… wait, that's it! Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today!" He looked around, confused. "Hey, where's Perry?"

"Um, Phineas?" Isabella asked. "He's right here."

Phineas turned to their pet, who was still sitting on the same spot under the tree. "Oh there you are, Perry" he said. "Hm, that's weird, he's usually gone by now."

"Perhaps he's having a day off from… wherever he goes every day?" Isabella suggested.

"Could be" Phineas mused. "We'll just let him enjoy his day there. Let's go inside and get all the stuff we need to build the coolest ice cream restaurant ever!"

"Didn't you already build an ice cream maker a while ago?" Isabella asked.

"No, that was when Ferb switched those blueprints around, remember?" Phineas replied. "Although I suppose you couldn't know that because you were sick that day. Anyway, we never actually got around to making it. And besides, you can never have too much ice cream." He grinned charmingly at her, and Ferb found himself treated to the sight of Isabella beaming all the way to the house.

oooooooo

Back at headquarters, Major Monogram was leaning back and forth impatiently in his chair, watching Carl fiddle with the computer. "Seriously, how much longer is this going to take?" he complained.

"Should be ready in a minute, sir!" Carl said. "No, not that, not that… yes!" The computer screen turned back on. "All ready, sir!"

"Finally" Monogram complained. He turned on the signal to Agent P's wristwatch and flipped the switch for the background music.

 _Doo bee doo bee doo bah, doo bee doo bee doo bah – Perry!_

"Good morning Agent P" Monogram greeted the platypus, who had just fallen out of the main tunnel into his chair. "Sorry for the delay in calling you up, but the communication system for your watch was malfunctioning. Also, our contacts at Doofenshmirtz' headquarters haven't been able to communicate with us for the same reasons, so we can't tell you what he's up to and you'll just have to see for yourself. We're very sorry. This is all _Carl's_ fault." He glared at the intern.

"It's not my fault, sir!" Carl replied. "The equipment just didn't work! I did everything I could!"

"Well, it's your job to take care of it and makes sure it works properly at all times" Monogram said. "Clearly, you didn't do what you _should_ have done."

"I can't help it" Carl replied defensively. "It's the computers the O.W.C.A. uses. They're out of date. I just checked yesterday – the last update was in 2006."

Monogram blushed. "It's hard running an organization like this these days" he replied. "Times are tough, we all have to cut back. And your new position as a paid intern isn't helping."

"It's a title, sir. It's not like you actually pay me."

"That's not the point, Carl. It's…" Monogram paused, seeing Agent P still waiting. "Anyway. Go stop Doofenshmirtz."

Agent P saluted, got his jetpack and hovercraft, and sped off. Monogram watched after him. "Well, at least _somebody_ knows how to do his job around here."

"I heard that!"

"...so what, Carl?"

oooooooo

"All right" Heinz Doofenshmirtz told himself, "let's try this one more time." He struck a chord on the piano. "One two three four…

 _Doofenshmirtz evil incorporated!_  
 _Where being evil is not debated!_  
 _Our great schemes are not for wusses!_  
 _But they're thwarted by platypuses… uh… playtpi?_  
 _And whenever you feel aggravated!_  
 _Just remember how this show'll be rated…_

Doofenshmirtz violently shook his head, took the paper with the music on it and ripped it into shreds. "No, no no! That's not a properly evil song at all! It's not even a _good_ song! This is never going to work… huh?"

The sound of his machines activating behind him made the scientist turn to see Perry the Platypus caught in his net trap. "Ah, Perry the Platypus!" he exclaimed. "You're just in time. And by just in time, I mean… well, I mean just in time, I wasn't going to succeed in writing a good song anyway. Huh, I rarely play that one straight anymore, do I?" He started walking up and down. "And now you're probably wondering why you're in a net again, when I already trapped you in one not too long ago. Well you see, this was one of the simpler traps I made, and you always manage to escape the complicated ones, so maybe you won't get out of this one, huh? Huh? And anyway, people love recycling these days. It's hip. So I figured that well, it's not really evil, but at least it saves me money. Charlene has been sketchy about paying the alimony I use for my inators lately." He grinned. "Speaking of which, I decided to recycle one of them, too."

He walked over to the other side of the room where he'd hidden the inator under a giant cloth as usual. "You see Perry the Platypus, a few weeks ago I built that inator to de-age my brother Roger – you know him, right?" Perry gave him a bored nod. "I wanted to shrink him into a baby, only it didn't work! I still haven't figured out what went wrong, although Norm is acting really strange about it." He shrugged. "So I thought, maybe it didn't work because it was too ambitious. I mean, making him a baby, that's a lot of age reversal. So I figured that if I just made him a child instead, about ten or so, then he wouldn't be allowed to be mayor anymore, because obviously, he'd be too young. So since I'm his nearest relative, I would be appointed as his guardian. And then, through Roger, I could take over the ENTIRE TRI-STATE AREA!" Thunder rumbled behind him.

Doofenshmirtz beamed. "Did you hear that, Perry the Platypus? I finally figured out where the Regurgitator got that thunder from. It certainly makes my plans sound more evil, don't you think?" Perry looked unimpressed. "So anyway, where was I. Oh yes. And this plan will be even more evil than the last one, because this time Roger will know I'm taking over, but he won't be able to stop me because he'll be just a child. He'd just be forced to watch, unable to do anything! Is that evil or what?" He walked over to the cloth. "So without further ado, behold, the CHILD-INATOR!"

The room remained completely silent. "Oh, right. I'm trying to cut on the thunder too. It may be awesome but you have no idea how expensive it is."

Perry didn't chatter in response – he usually didn't – so Doofenshmirtz just rolled the inator outside onto the balcony. "We'll have to wait a little while longer, it has to warm up first" he informed the platypus. "I'll just grab a book while we're waiting… except by the time I get one, I suppose the machine will be ready already. You see Perry the Platypus, despite my decision to recycle my inators it still has a quick loading time and-"

His sentence was interrupted by a well-directed kick in the face, sending him tumbling over. Doofenshmirtz looked up to see his adversary. "Perry the Platypus? How did you get out of that net?!"

In response, Perry simply pointed at the net and the huge hole in it. Below it was a familiar creature. "Ah, you just got the mouse again with the cheese-spray on the ropes. I should have thought of that when I decided to recycle my trap."

Doofenshmirtz got up, pushing Perry off him. Perry took off to the edge of the balcony, Doofenshmirtz set off in pursuit, only then the platypus just stopped and slipped between his enemy's legs. The scientist furiously tried to stop him as Perry ran towards the inator. Just as Perry was about to jump against the self-destruct button, Doofenshmirtz got in front of him, and the result was that they tumbled backwards against the 'on' button of the inator. "Sheesh, Perry the Platypus!" Doofenshmirtz exclaimed. "Couldn't you have been a little more careful? Now you've got my inator shooting its beam off to… to that same garden most of my beams are shot off to. Hm, that's really strange when you think about it. Maybe I should move my inators once in a while. What do you think, Perry the Platypu-" Perry kicked him in the stomach, hard, toppling him over again, then jumped against the self-destruct button. Doofenshmirtz could only watch as the machine exploded, while Perry jumped off the building, opening his parachute.

The scientist ran after him, angered, and helplessly watched him go from the edge of the balcony. "Curse you, Perry the Platypus!"

oooooooo

Candace was just watching TV when she heard the kitchen drawers being opened and shut. She squinted her eyes tightly, turned off the television and ran over. When she arrived in the kitchen, she saw Ferb and Isabella were fetching juice and cans, while Phineas was just putting down the phone. She growled. "Phineas and Ferb. What are you guys up to?"

"Oh hi, sis" Phineas greeted her. "We're going to build an ice cream restaurant. Do you want to join us?"

Candace snorted. "As if. Just for the record, I'm in charge today."

"I see" Phineas replied, starting to walk outside. "But isn't that only if a satellite falls out of the sky?"

"Don't get your hopes up" Candace replied, following them. "I'm in charge, so that means no inventions. No ice cream makers, no weird robots, no space ships, no weird expeditions to discover something that doesn't exist, no expeditions to the other side of the world, no expeditions whatsoever, no rollercoaster…"

"Are you following this, Ferb?" Phineas asked, as the boys sat down beneath the tree. Ferb held up their recorder.

"…no car wash, no miniature golf course, no…"

And just then, a giant green ray came out of the sky and hit Candace. The girl felt a bizarre feeling go through her, and then it was gone again. She looked Phineas and Ferb straight into the eyes and was about to proceed with her list when she realized that she had looked Phineas and Ferb straight into the eyes.

As in, not _down_ into the eyes.

"Sis, you're our height!" Phineas exclaimed. "And you look like you're our age, too! That's way cool!"

"Cool?" Candace repeated. "This is the opposite of cool! I don't know how you two did this but get me back to normal straight away!"

"Um, Candace, that beam came out of the sky" Isabella said. "So Phineas and Ferb couldn't have done that, and they were planning something else anyway. And didn't you just say that they weren't allowed to build anything today?"

Candace got down on her knees, making her even smaller. "Please, I beg you, you two are the geniuses, so get me back to normal! If Jeremy sees me like this…"

Phineas blinked. "You didn't tell us Jeremy was coming over."

"He isn't" Candace said. "Or at least, we don't have anything planned and he should be at work for most of the day… but imagine if he did come over! You have to tell him I'm, uh, our cousin or something. If he sees me as a little kid, he will never want to date me again!"

Phineas frowned. "Candace, I think Jeremy knows most of our family by now."

"Not Grandaunt Lorraine!" Candace exclaimed, standing back up. "I could be my mother's mother's sister's grandkid!"

"More conventionally, your second cousin" Ferb said.

"Whatever" Candace said. "Just tell him I'm someone else. If he sees me like this, like an ugly little child, then he'll never date me again and we won't get married and won't have Xavier and Amanda and the entire world will explode and – and –"

"Don't worry, Candace" Phineas reassured her. "You're not ugly – not now, and not normally. Jeremy is lucky to have you!"

Candace blinked. "Really?"

"Sure!" Phineas exclaimed. "In fact, you're the prettiest girl I know!" He smiled gently at her, and Candace saw from the corner of her eye how Isabella was seething. To her surprise, Phineas noticed it as well. "Is something wrong, Isabella?"

Isabella's anger made her feel less restraint for the moment. "Phineas, remember that cute-tracker you made? When we tracked down Meap?"

"Sure, I remember" Phineas replied, clearly confused that she would bring it up now. "That was some adventure, wasn't it? I wonder how Meap is doing right now. It's too bad we can't regularly communicate with him like with our other friends. Maybe that's a good idea for tomorrow, right Ferb?" Ferb gave him a thumbs-up. "Of course, there's still the matter of your ice cream restaurant. Maybe we should store the communicator away for a later day. Or just make robots again to do it all at once… although we'd have to be careful for them not to escape our control this time. "

"I was talking about me, Phineas" Isabella replied impatiently. "Didn't you say I was cute? As a scientific fact?"

Phineas nodded, confused. "Yeah…"

"And remember what you told Candace just now?"

Phineas blinked. "Wait, you mean… oh!" He blushed. "Sorry, Isabella. It's not that you're not pretty, it's just that, well, we're friends. It's kind of awkward to say that stuff." He turned back to his sister, while the look on Isabella's face changed from angry to heartbroken. "Anyway. Candace, you won't have to worry about meeting Jeremy, because we'll have you back to normal in no time. Ferb, cancel the ice reservations! I know what we're gonna do today that is different from what we _were_ gonna do today!"

"But-" Isabella stammered.

"I'm sorry Isabella, but this takes precedence" Phineas replied. "You're welcome to stay and help us." The girl nodded, a downcast look in her eyes which Phineas didn't notice. "Great! Come on guys, we – oh there you are, Perry." Candace looked sideways at their pet, while Ferb took out a notebook with a vertical stripe on it and used a pencil to set another.

"He's back early" Candace remarked, giving Perry a strange look.

Was it her imagination, or did she see him stare back with a shocked look on his face?


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** _Another chapter. Constructive criticism is always appreciated._

 **Chapter Two**

Doofenshmirtz was barely done with cleaning his lab when he heard the doorbell ring. "Coming, coming" he muttered. "Hello – Perry the Platypus? You're back? Already? But I don't have a new inator yet, I've just cleaned up the remains of the old one! And I don't have a new trap, or a back-story… I don't even have an idea! You know, it might be helpful if _you_ came up with an idea sometimes. It's like I do all the work in this and you only come in to wreck things I've spent hours and hours on."

Perry just stared at him, walking out to the ruins of the Child-Inator, now resting in a pile near the wall. Doofenshmirtz followed him and tried to figure out what the platypus wanted. "You… you feel sorry about destroying it? That's… that's great Perry the Platypus, I never thought you'd voluntarily turn against the good guys!" He frowned, as Perry shook his head. "No? You want to borrow the scrap metal from the inator, then?" Another headshake. "You just came to help me clean it up?" Another headshake. "Huh, I was certain that would be it. It sure would've been nice for a change. Then… I guess you just want to stand there and point at the wreck?"

At that last one Perry just rolled his eyes, and Doofenshmirtz let out an exasperated sigh. "I know you can write, Perry the Platypus, so why don't you just take some paper and write down what you want instead of playing this stupid guessing game?"

Perry gave him a sheepish smile, and took a piece of paper and a pen from a drawer, writing something down. Doofenshmirtz wondered if he should feel freaked out by how well the platypus knew his way around Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated, but dismissed it. He leaned in to read over Perry's shoulder. "Inator… hit… friend. Need… to… reverse it." The scientist squealed in delight. "Then you do need to reverse your work after all, don't you? And you think I'd let you? Now that for the first time, I've actually accomplished something evil?" Perry gave him a disappointed look, and Doofenshmirtz was about to gesture for him to get out when a thought hit him. "Then again," he muttered to himself, "if we rebuild the inator, I could still use it on Roger once Perry the Platypus is gone, and he'd have helped me rebuild it, which would make it even more evil…" He turned back to the platypus. "Actually, I changed my mind. You can stay here." Perry gave him a curious look. "Of course you can! We could even work together on rebuilding the inator, like we did last time! It'll be fun! Don't give me that look Perry the Platypus, it _will_ be fun. You just wait and see!" Cheerful, he headed off to collect some tools, while Perry looked after him warily.

oooooooo

Even though Candace had ordered Phineas and Ferb to build an invention this time, that still didn't mean she liked the idea, and in the end she'd decided not to stick around but watch from a distance as her brothers built. Buford and Baljeet showing up had added to that determination, what with the looks Buford had given her. She wasn't sure why he was doing it, but if he thought she wanted anything to do with him now he was severely mistaken. That had been true before, and now that he was bigger and more intimidating to her, it was even truer.

And thus Candace Flynn had resigned herself to sitting down in a corner of the yard in the shade, watching her brothers drag in material for the new project. No matter how clever they were at making bustable things, it would still take a few hours before the invention was put together and she could get changed back to normal. She just hoped Stacy or Jeremy wouldn't come by before then. The thought of them seeing her like this made her even more desperate to become normal again. She'd tried calling Mom to come over and thus just let the Mysterious Force take care of it, but Mom hadn't answered her calls. It was all very frustrating.

As Candace was pondering all that, she noticed Isabella coming over, a sour look on her face. It was weird to see the girl was now her height, which made her even more inclined to offer Isabella a friendly smile and motion for her to sit down. "What's wrong?"

Isabella stared wryly at her. "Phineas, as always" she whispered.

Of course. Like everybody in Danville but Phineas himself, Candace knew about the crush Isabella had on her brother, and unlike everybody in Danville, she didn't really care. Isabella liked Phineas, so what? That didn't oblige her to help them get together like Ferb and the Fireside Girls occasionally did. Besides, she didn't even know if Phineas would like Isabella back. What if her brother didn't even want to be Isabella's boyfriend, as everyone in town seemed to presume he would? As such, she had always adopted an indifferent attitude, not helping Isabella out and even uncaringly stopping her every now and then when they'd be talking. If she needed Phineas' help, she wasn't going to refrain from getting his attention just because Isabella was next to him. Phineas was _her_ brother, so she had the right to barge into his life every now and then and make her opinion known, especially if they were doing something bustable.

Today however, she felt much mellower. Part of that was because she didn't need Phineas for anything at the moment, but another part was that Isabella was her age right now. It felt easy not to care about her feelings and thoughts when she was just a little kid and Candace herself nearly an adult, but now that she was so young and small Isabella really was the closest to a best friend she had. Certainly, she still had the mind of a teenager, but she knew very well how out-of-place she would feel around Stacy or Jenny… for the moment, these kids were her age, and her equals.

And thus, where Candace might have otherwise dismissed Isabella and her strange obsession, today she nodded and gave her a sympathetic smile. "Do you want me to get Ferb or what's-her-name… the small brunette with the glasses…"

"Gretchen" Isabella said.

"Right, Gretchen" Candace replied. "Do you want me to get either of them to talk about this?"

Isabella thought about that, then shook her head. "Nah. Ferb is too busy, and so is Gretchen – and so are all the other girls, for that matter. I got them here to help Phineas and Ferb, and I don't want to distract them with my problems yet again." She smiled faintly. "Besides, I have someone better to talk to."

Candace blinked. "You mean me?" The Fireside Girl nodded. "Why me?"

"Well, you are Phineas' sister, and you know him well" Isabella argued. "When I talk to the girls they'll give me comfort and then advise me on how to win him over, but it's too general. Phineas is special, after all – and I'm not talking about how amazing he is. It's his obliviousness that I keep running into, and if there's anyone who'd know how to deal with it it's you. The Fireside Girls don't really know Phineas as deeply as you do, because you live with him. Besides Ferb, you probably know him best… I suppose I could talk to him, but like I said, he's busy. Maybe I should start doing that in the future. Anyway, now that you're my age, I kind of felt that you might be able to… understand… if you want to, of course."

"I'll certainly try" Candace said warmly. "What exactly is on your mind?"

"Everything that just happened" Isabella said. "The way he not only builds a giant machine for me that I never asked for – which he promptly dismissed in favor of your project, by the way… not that I don't realize how important it is to get you back to normal, but it still stung. And then he pretty much states that he couldn't see me as anything but a friend, not even considering how I would react to that. I keep telling myself he's just blind, but… this hurts, Candace. Continuous rejections, not noticing my feelings…" She sighed, frustrated. "He compliments everyone, not seeing that there's someone who just might like something special. Some unique attention. Not some amazing project that he'd give to all of our friends because he's just that nice, but some romantic time alone. And whenever he does give that kind of attention, it's always to Ferb or to your Mom or to you – _never_ to me!"

Candace snorted. "What on earth makes you say _that_?"

"What just happened this morning, for one" Isabella said. "You heard him back there, right? About how good-looking you were… but when the subject got to me, he thought it was strange because we're friends. So what? You're his sister! As if that _isn't_ weird! But no, he thinks saying _you're_ pretty is all well and good, but when it comes to me it would be awkward!"

Candace smiled. "Isabella, you're not jealous of me, are you?"

She had meant it as a joke to lighten the mood a bit, but the look in Isabella's eyes made it clear the other girl took it differently. "Maybe I am. Here he's off making another project for you, and he's basically ignoring me. Maybe I'm the one who's oblivious, and he knows very well I like him and this is his way of subtly telling me he's not interested."

Candace looked at the downcast girl sympathetically, putting her arm around her. "Phineas wouldn't do that, even if he wasn't interested in you at all, and you know it" she said. "Besides, he invents stuff for you, too."

Isabella sighed wryly. "He does? Whose face did he carve into Mount Rushmore? He and Ferb made a whole movie around you! They turned your treehouse into a robot! I know it's kind of strange to be jealous of stuff like that, but the projects they made for you were bigger and more complicated than mine, and I at least appreciate them. You're always sulking."

Candace frowned. "I seem to recall you saying just about a zillion times how much you'd prefer just spending time with him over a weird project."

"I never say it to his face, though" Isabella said. "He doesn't know _that_ – but even oblivious Phineas can't ignore how negative you are about his ideas, even when he creates them for you. And still he continues to make them. Remember Gitchie Gitchie Goo?"

"Isabella, that was so long ago…"

"Even so" Isabella insisted. "I know you were the winning contestant, but even when you at first refused he didn't even suggest making me your replacement. Certainly, we sung together the first time we performed the song, but I was waiting for the opportunity to get the top part _alone_ and he didn't give it. There were plenty of Fireside Girls available for the Ferbettes as background music, but it didn't even occur to him that I could be his singing partner. He really doesn't see me that way."

Candace uneasily looked in front of her, to the yard where Phineas and Ferb were still building. "Well, he _is_ pretty dense" she said. "You should have flat out brought it up."

"It was obvious, even to Phineas" Isabella said. "Of all the Fireside Girls, he and Ferb are closest to me. He knows that. He also knows I can sing. And yet, though I wanted to sing with him so badly, he didn't even consider me. And when I tried to ask him, he went off on a tangent on how strange it was that you didn't want to sing along and that we were kind of in a pickle without our winning contestant. He did let me sing with him when we travelled around the world – even if I lost my spot halfway and only got it back because you went off to talk to Jeremy – but the day we became a one-hit wonder? I guess I'm overreacting, but you can't deny that for Phineas it was all about you that day."

Candace frowned, taken back. Had it? Her memories of the day had always been skewed by the disappointment that her new singing career had ended before it had even begun, thanks to Phineas and Ferb's decision to be a strictly one-hit-wonder. But when she thought back about the song, then she had to admit that it had been… fun. And unusual, in how close she had been to her little brother. Singing a love duet together, the hearts in the background… she had never considered quite how _strange_ that was, in retrospect, even keeping in mind that Phineas wouldn't have known from the start that she'd sing with them. But Phineas had acted as though it was entirely normal, and she'd just gone with it and never given it a second thought.

Until today.

Of course, Phineas had probably meant nothing by it. She knew her brother well, and he had _always_ been very kind to her even if she didn't always appreciate it. And well, if Phineas really didn't consider Isabella as more than a friend, then he would probably consider it strange to sing with Izzy, who wasn't his girlfriend or a relative and whom he might consider it awkward to declare even a friendship-like love for – even if Phineas Flynn rarely felt awkward about anything. It didn't need to mean anything about how he viewed _her_. Love songs, even with familial love at the core, could still have hearts in them. And Phineas did love her. So what if the lyrics were extremely suggestive and Phineas had been shooting her those strange admiring looks all throughout the song…

"Candace?"

The girl snapped out of her reverie. "What?"

"I asked you if you could do anything to help me" Isabella said. "I asked you twice, because you were just staring off into space. Is something wrong?"

"No, I'm fine, I was just… thinking" Candace said, trying to shake off the strange thoughts that clouded her mind. "So, what exactly do you like about Phineas?"

The look in Isabella's eyes turned dreamy. "Where to start" she whispered. "I love his niceness, his optimism, his endless energy. I love the way he always helps other people without caring how they think about him or what they'll give him in return – although like I said, it can be annoying from time to time as well. I love how easy he is to talk to even if he is oblivious about feelings and sometimes just won't shut up. Those are the moments I wish he was a little more like his brother." She blushed. "Anyway, I love how innocent and sweet he is in some ways, and how mature in others."

Candace nodded, reviewing those traits in her mind. She could see that in Phineas, and understand that was why he was so likeable to Isabella. "Go on."

"Well, he's creative and bright" Isabella added. "He's an amazing inventor with an open mind towards new ideas… although I guess Ferb has all of that covered too. And he's really cute. Phineas, I mean. Not Ferb. Not that Ferb _isn't_ cute, but… well, you get what I mean."

The formerly older teen shook her head. "I still can't believe you think that triangular head is cute. I guess it's not ugly and that it might grow on you after a while, but don't you think it's at least a little bit freaky?" Isabella shook her head. "Really? Not at all?" Another headshake. "Well, maybe I'm the one who has a problem then, and not Phineas."

Isabella looked slightly offended for Phineas' sake. "As if Jeremy is so cool."

"Of course he is!" Candace immediately exclaimed. "He's dreamy and awesome and sweet and perfect and caring and competent and adorable and so much more…"

Isabella rolled her eyes. "You can't spot a single flaw in him, can you?"

Candace thought that over for a few moments. "Well, I guess if I had to name one I would say how he never seems to notice what Suzy is doing" she said. Isabella gave her a look, but Candace shushed her. "Hear me out here. That kid _is_ smart beyond her age, she's using her brightness to destroy my life, and Jeremy never even notices! Not that anyone else does, but he _lives_ with her." She sighed. "I mean, I guess it's kind of sweet how sweet and trusting he is, and he's kind of adorable when he's naïve… but often it just annoys me just how oblivious he can be."

"Is this Jeremy we're talking about, or Phineas?" Isabella asked sarcastically.

Candace was surprised by the question. "Jeremy, of course. What makes you think I was talking about – oh." Of course Phineas was incredibly oblivious too, as well as sweet and trusting. Candace realized to her surprise how much her brother and Jeremy were… alike, in some ways. Then again, of course Jeremy didn't regularly build stuff that defied the laws of nature. He just played guitar and worked at Slushy Burger.

"Candace?" Isabella then asked. "I don't mean to snap you out of your reverie, but I should be going back to the group soon or even Phineas will notice I'm gone. Have you got any suggestions on how to help me yet?"

The orange-haired girl pondered it. "It should be something big" she finally decided. "Phineas won't notice it otherwise. Perhaps you should dress up as something he likes and subtly pry for his affections. That's it! You should just disguise yourself and ask him how he feels about you. I've got a fake moustache lying around from when I tried to help Stacy with Coltrane, but she didn't think it was a good idea."

"No, really?" Isabella said. "Candace, I…"

"I don't think I have anything to disguise your voice," Candace continued, "so maybe you should wear a paper bag over your head. The only problem with that is that it would render the moustache redundant. Anyway, I'm sure we'll find something to avert that problem. Of course you could always take the direct approach if you'd favor that." Isabella nodded. "Since he's not Jeremy, the world won't explode if anything goes wrong so maybe you could take some risk! Like jumping out of a cake that's specially delivered to him? No, Phineas and Ferb did that before to me and I hardly appreciated it so I doubt he will. Perhaps that's too embarrassing after all."

"I was thinking more along the lines of walking up and talking it out" Isabella interrupted.

Candace just looked at her uncomprehendingly and droned on. "We need something more subtle. Wait, how about a romantic stroll through the city, designed to take you past places you've nearly experienced romance with him before? Starting and ending here with some kind of grand heart where you'll tell him you love him? We could even drop red heart-shaped confetti along the way. Not too overt, of course, but enough to steer him in the right mood. It might not have worked in Paris but I think that is what you're looking for. Let me write this down…"

She didn't realize for another few minutes that Isabella had long walked back to the main group.

oooooooo

In the meantime, how was the situation going at Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated?

"Oh, we're doing well, thank you" Doofenshmirtz replied. "We already constructed the bottom part, and we're reconstructing the upper part in parts. Once those are done we'll only have to reassemble it all." He caught the look on Perry's face. "Yes, you already know all this, yes, I shouldn't break the fourth wall, blah blah blah. I'm evil, what did you expect?" Perry kept glaring and Doofenshmirtz relented. "Fine, let's get back to work. Fetch me the screwdriver, will you? They're in the kitchen drawers." That earned him another look. "Fine, so I'm scatterbrained and keep my tools in the kitchen drawers. Why should you care, Perry the Complainapus."

He realized too late that Perry was heading off to _that_ drawer. "Wait, no no no no! Not that drawer, it's the other one! You need the other one! Perry the Platypus, don't!"

Perry gave him a curious look, then opened the drawer and took out _that_ sheet before Doofenshmirtz was able to stop him. He cast one look at it then gave the scientist a bemused glare.

Doofenshmirtz blushed. "I don't know what got into me Perry the Platypus, I was just one day trying to come up with lyrics to my evil jingle, and I was playing some tunes on my piano, and all of a sudden I got the urge to come up with our own nemesis song! Yes, I know we already have one, but I really liked this idea. I based it off that catchy tune by that one kid band, I don't know if you heard of them. _Mow mow mow, and my heart starts pumping_ – great stuff! So I came up with my own lyrics and I figured I could publish this, and then it would be a major rip-off and that is so delightfully evil." Perry stared at him. "I know, the lyrics are kind of cheesy, and, you know, really awkward… but we could play it at our nemeversaries!" Perry just kept staring. "All right, all right, it was a stupid idea and a stupid song. There, I said it. Now let's get back to the job."

Perry walked off, and Doofenshmirtz took a good look at the paper before leaving it to lie where it was. "Wow, it really was too much" he mumbled to himself.

 _Krrrrrrrrrrr!  
So says my nemesis!  
Bang bang bang,  
and your tail starts kicking.  
Chicka chicka choo wop,  
our fights will never stop.  
Gitchie gurbie goo means that I hate you!_


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:** _Another chapter, one left to come_ _. This one details Candace interacting with Phineas, nearly letting something important slip, and coming to further realizations. Don't like it, don't read it (I'm getting a little repetitive here, ain't I?). Also, Doof and Perry finish the inator! But if you do read it, please review._

 **Chapter Three**

Being able to work on Isabella's scheme was very convenient for Candace as a distraction from her situation. She leaned against the tree in the yard, looking at her work. She already had the basics planned out in Phineas and Ferb's blueprint sketchbook – she wanted to use a normal exercise book, but it being summer, she couldn't find one anywhere anymore. Now Phineas and Isabella would be walking under some kind of arch as they entered the garden, and then people in pink suits would jump out and hearts would rain on them off the arch. She just needed a few more touches… and practical implementation, of course, but she would cross that bridge when she came to it. But if that went right, there was no way Phineas would not recognize Isabella's love for him.

"Hey Candace! Whatcha doing?"

There was only one person who could say that without having Isabella glare at him or her, and that person was the last one Candace needed to see right now. She quickly covered up the sketchbook, blushing. "Hey, Phineas," she replied, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.

The redheaded inventor might have been oblivious, but he wasn't stupid. He sat down next to her and looked at the book in her hands. "What are you doing with our sketchbook?" Before she could react, he took it from her and flipped through the pages to the one she was working on. "You're making a blueprint of your own! That's so cool! But what's with all the hearts? It's not _nearly_ Valentine's Day…"

"It's not a blueprint!" Candace snapped. "I – I don't build the crazy inventions you guys make!"

"It's not Mom or Dad's birthday either, or mine, or Ferb's, or anyone else's we know. It can't be an anniversary either." He gave her a sly grin. "What are you up to, Candace?"

"Nothing" Candace replied sheepishly. "Weren't you working on that Age-Accelerator thing?"

Phineas shrugged. "Ferb told me he had it covered," by which Candace supposed he meant their quiet brother had given Phineas a thumbs-up, "and he likes building more than I do anyway. Baljeet said there was something wrong with Isabella. He even seemed to be mad about it and for the life of me, I couldn't figure out what I could have done wrong. I didn't want to approach her directly and possibly make her even madder so I figured I'd ask you, since you had been talking to her."

Candace sighed. "Really, Phineas. The arch, the hearts, Isabella being dejected after your speech about me… and you still don't get it?"

"Nope" Phineas said, giving her a curious look. "Wait, are you saying this blueprint has to do with Isabella's troubles? Let's see…" He took a good look at the sketchbook. "Hearts. An arch. Two figures walking underneath it… you've got to improve on your drawing Candace, they both look a bit pointy. Hmm…"

Candace held her breath. "Yes?"

Phineas nodded, first slowly, then ever more enthusiastic. "Wait, that's it! Of course! I can't believe I didn't think of it before!" Candace nodded along, smiling. "It seems so obvious in retrospect. Man, I'm really slow, ain't I?"

"You sure are" Candace replied, grinning.

"I guess I was thrown off-balance by your participation, though" Phineas said. "I mean, you rarely do things this big, so it took me a second to connect the dots."

Candace smiled. "Hey, you guys might annoy me from time to time, but I'm always happy to help."

"I guess so" Phineas said, staring at the scheme. "Going through all that trouble just to make Isabella a cheer-up party…"

"Wait, what?"

Phineas blinked. "The cheer-up party. You felt sorry for Isabella being depressed, so you're planning a party to cheer her up, just like we did when you were down. It all fits – the hearts, the arch, just what a girl like her might appreciate. That's _so_ awesome. I'd love to help you out once we're done getting you back to normal."

For a few moments, Candace just stared at her brother in disbelief. Then she shook her head. "No! No, no, no! That wasn't at all what I meant, you oblivious twerp! Why do you never, ever notice anything? What did I do to get stuck with a mother and a brother who are oblivious to _everything_ outside their own world?" She tried to tower imposingly over him but failed spectacularly due to their similar height. "The hearts, the arch, the path, and you _still don't get it_? All of this isn't for a cheer-up party! I can't believe you would even consider that as an option! This, all of this, is because Isabella is IN LOVE W–"

She stopped herself at the last words, and then blushed at the sight of everyone in the backyard, including Phineas, staring at her – even though in Isabella's case it was more of a death glare. She sat down dejected, while Phineas just kept staring at her.

The boy eventually blinked. "Isabella likes someone?" he whispered. "Like… in that way? I – isn't she a little young to be in love?"

"Yes, yes she is" Candace replied, regaining her composure. All right, so she hadn't told him _who_ Isabella liked. This might still be salvageable. More so, it might be promising, for Isabella's sake at least. "So, what do you think about that?"

"I'm confused" her brother admitted. "I never thought Izzy might actually find someone before Ferb or I did. The three of us have always been a team in so many respects. And you too, of course, even though you don't always participate and you already have a boyfriend, whom you've been crushing on for as long as I can remember." Candace blushed, at the same time wondering why she felt so flattered by Phineas considering her to be a part of the team. "So, who is it? Anyone we know?"

Candace bit her tongue in anticipation. Of course he was going to ask this question. Not even clueless, uninterested-in-romance Phineas would want to remain ignorant of who Isabella liked. She decided to dodge the ball back. "Well, she does spend most of her time here" she said carefully. "Who do you think it might be?"

Phineas blinked yet again. "Out of us?" His sister nodded, and his eyes scanned the group. "Gee, that's a weird thought. It can't be Baljeet, because Ginger already likes him and Isabella would never go against one of her scouts. Somehow I doubt it's Buford…hm, this is a tough one." She saw he thought it through deeply before his eyes finally locked on one of their group. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm going to go with Ferb."

"Ferb?" Candace meekly whispered.

Phineas nodded. "Yeah. That would make sense, too, because like you said, she does spend a lot of time here. And he likes girls, and from what I heard at school, they like him. They all think he's cute…man, it's _true_ , isn't it? Isabella likes Ferb…" He shook his head. "Wow, that really is a weird thought. I guess it will probably blow over in a few weeks, she is only ten after all and Ferb has that thing with that Vanessa girl… but for the time being, the thought of Izzy liking Ferb is something I'm going to have to get used to. Does he know?" Candace numbly shook her head. "Oh, so this is all a surprise then? I love surprises! Can I help?"

"No, Phineas, that's not necessary" Candace replied sighing. If her brother was going to be _this_ oblivious, then she would have to revise her earlier opinion on the matter. Not even this scheme would make him realize Isabella's feelings, and as a result, it could go into the wastebasket.

Proving her point, Phineas took her depressed reaction differently. "The blueprint already looks fine, Candace" he replied. "It's a great plan, really. There are just a few minor things, like the arch not being structurally sound – you might want a more natural angle and a smooth metal construction – and this journey around town being kind of sloppy."

Candace sniffed. "The arch is fine."

"Oh, it's mostly fine, but there are a few issues I'd like to correct" Phineas replied. "I mean, looking at your calculations, you divided everything by Jeremy's face again. I know the problem, the first rockets Ferb and I ever built wouldn't get off the ground because we kept taking the square root of a bomb, but you have to adjust this if you want this to look as good as it can. For Ferb's sake, and for Isabella's. So if you change those angles, and just make the arch a little bit bigger and more colorful… right now you've only got two colors, and they clash."

"There's nothing wrong with pink and orange, you know" Candace replied exasperated. "And why do you always think you have to oversize things?"

"It wouldn't be oversizing – I'm not even sure if that's really a verb" Phineas said. "Baljeet would know. I'll ask him later. Anyway, we need a round arch, covered with clearly symmetric ancient Greek busts, a huge flag with their faces on it attached to the top, a red carpet leading towards it – make that a blue carpet, red is so overdone – a few heart-shaped balloons, and a licorice dispenser. That's a nice touch to everything."

Candace shook her head. "Everything you make is crazy and irritating and bustable! Can't you just stick to a nice arch, with the hearts engraved into it, and perhaps some red strings here and there – oh, and y-, er, _their_ names carved into the top! That would be romantic…"

"Sure, that works too" Phineas said. "But what about the busts, and the flag, and the balloons?"

"We don't need them" Candace insisted, drawing out a model of the arch as she envisioned it. "Your idea just looks big and over the top."

"Sure," Phineas replied, taking the pen from her, "but that's what makes it cool! If we just add a few balloons shaped like their heads here and there… and a dirigible, that's a given… and make the arch a little taller…"

"Ten feet rather than four feet isn't a little taller, Phineas" Candace said, taking the pen back and scrapping most of his additions. "I guess a few head-shaped balloons would look nice, but they don't need to be so big! It doesn't matter if it's cool, it has to be romantic."

"My plans are romantic!" Phineas defended. "I know romance! Just ask Baljeet and his friend Mishti! Come on, we've got to be able to come to a compromise on this." He chuckled. "It's probably a good thing you don't help us build every day, or we would never get to the constructing phase of the inventions."

Candace blinked. "Say that again?"

"It's probably a good thing you don't help us build every day, or we would never get to the constructing phase of the inventions" Phineas repeated. "I was just joking, Candace. You're a great help."

Candace barely heard him, staring in horror at the blueprint. What was she doing? How had Phineas conned her into helping him create one of their crazy ideas? Could he even be blamed for this? She did get the original idea from Isabella, and it had been her own mind which had run with it, making this scheme so wacky and big and…

…and almost like what her brothers made. Which could only mean one thing.

She was behaving in a bustable manner.

And she liked it.

Phineas stared at her uncertainly. "Is something wrong?" he asked. "You're doing a great job on this, Candace. I wish you'd help us more often. Why don't you, by the way?"

Why didn't she? She couldn't answer that she didn't want to, the evidence in front of her making that a lie. "I don't know" she finally admitted. "I… I never tried to build stuff. I guess I was afraid that I couldn't do it, or that I wouldn't get away with it. Life would just turn itself against me, the Mysterious Force would malfunction for some reason, and I would be busted. It wouldn't be worth the trouble."

From the look on her brother's face he didn't understand half of what she had said, but he still squeezed her hand. "It'll be fine, Candace" he assured her. "You can do it! Look at all the amazing things you've done this summer! Think of how you became queen of Mars, how you travelled through time, how you joined us for that trip around the world! Think of how much time to spend to try to show Mom what we've built! Other kids might ignore their siblings, but you actually want to spread the news of our inventions to people who haven't seen it without us even asking! You really are a great sister – I wouldn't know what I'd do without you, Candace." His sister blushed – Phineas did have a way of cheering her up. "All you have to do is believe in yourself! Remember the song?" The background music picked up, and a bunch of trumpets appeared seemingly out of nowhere in the hands of the Fireside Girls. Phineas took Candace's hand in his and walked her through them as they started to play. He also sang alongside it.

 _You traveled halfway 'round the world  
And almost turned and ran away  
But we helped you get your courage back  
So then you had to say _

_That though you'd often thought of us  
As just a nuisance and a bother  
That day you couldn't imagine  
Having better little brothers! _

_And you've gotta believe in something  
So that day you believed in us  
And we came through, we made it  
you'd never been so proud..._

"All right, all right, knock it off!" Buford exclaimed. "We already had a song today, and you made your point. Not to mention, it sounds really weird when you're singing those lyrics _to_ Candace."

Phineas stared at him. "I don't remember singing a song before this one. And we haven't even gotten to the chorus yet."

"You can do that some other time" Buford insisted. "Right now, we've got to move on with our schedule."

"Why are you so insistent on cutting off the song?" Baljeet wondered.

"Because thinkin' of that day humiliates me" Buford replied. "It was the day I had to eat a bug."

"…Buford, you _wanted_ to eat that bug."

"Shut it, nerd."

Phineas motioned for the background band to go away and looked at his sister, but his face contorted when he looked at her bemused expression. "Is something wrong?"

Candace pointed down. "Were you planning on letting go of my hand any time soon?"

Phineas blushed. "Oh, sorry." He did as she asked and Candace sat down, leaning against the tree. Phineas sat down next to her. "So, did it work?"

Candace smiled. "Yeah, I guess it did. Thanks, Phineas. You're actually kinda good at this sort of thing."

"I did cheer you up several times before" Phineas replied, leaning against the tree.

Candace pondered that. "Yes, yes you did." The journey around the world they'd just sung about – again – the time they saved summer… Phineas was an expert pep talker who always knew how to cheer her up. He actually wasn't that bad a kid. Heck, kid? He was her age now. He wasn't that bad a… a boy. A guy. A brother.

Her expression was ruined when she saw Phineas taking the sketchbook and putting it into her lap. "Is there anything else you wanted to do on the romance project?" he asked her.

Candace sighed and shook her head. "It's fine this way. We can work on it again later." She fiercely hoped he'd forget about it eventually, but knowing him she wasn't counting on it. "You've got your own work to attend, and I'm kind of tired." She yawned, and was surprised to find that she meant it. Perhaps being smaller was making her metabolism work faster. Or something like that, at least.

"Nah, the others assured me they had it covered" Phineas replied. "It looks like it's almost done anyway, so it wouldn't feel right to just chip in and add some finishing touches." He sighed. "I still wish Buford would have let us do a montage. That would have accelerated the process considerably."

"Probably" Candace murmured, putting the sketchbook off her lap.

Phineas took a good look at her and shook his head. "I still can't believe how people can sleep in the middle of the day. It's weird enough when Mom and Dad do it, now don't you start too."

"That's only because you're so young and energetic" Candace reminded him, keeping her eyelids open only just so far that she could identify him.

"You're our age now" Phineas retorted. "You should have the same energy."

Candace pondered that, and grew even sleepier as she tried to make sense of the logic behind sleeping patterns in de-aged people. "Whatever" she muttered, closing her eyes altogether and soon losing consciousness.

Which was unfortunate for her, because it made her not notice when her head slipped off the unforgiving tree stump to a place which was much more soft and comfortable.

oooooooo

After rolling the inator onto the balcony, Heinz Doofenshmirtz and Perry the Platypus took a step back. "And we're done!" the former announced cheerfully. He looked over the invention, which was a stereotypical purple machine with a laser on top that looked more or less like the previous child-inator. There were three buttons upfront, one labeled 'Fire', one 'Self-Destruct' and one 'Coffee maker'. Perry the Platypus gave Doofenshmirtz a look, but he just shrugged. "What? I need my caffeine to stay alert, and Norm is way too clumsy. I can't trust him to bring the coffee all the way out here."

The platypus just shrugged, and focused the ray at the house of his friends, using the telescope on the balcony. After making sure the inator was pointed in the right direction, he pressed the 'Fire' button…

…only for mechanical clangs to come out of the side of the inator, covering his body and trapping him against the machine.

Doofenshmirtz burst out laughing. "Oh Perry the Platypus, you should have seen your face when you got trapped, it was hilarious! Now what do you think of this, huh? An inator _and_ a trap, all in one! It's revolutionary! Since I figured you were just going to destroy the inator again after your job was done, I designed this scheme. I just labeled the trap 'fire', the self-destruct button 'coffee maker' and the fire button 'self-destruct'. Now there's nothing to keep me from giving Roger his just desserts." He sighed. "It's too bad that means there isn't a real coffee maker in the inator. I'll have to fetch some coffee for myself."

He headed off to the kitchen and confidently brewed some coffee. He returned to see Perry the Platypus still trapped against the inator. "I suppose I could just look through the telescope and see where this friend of yours lives, but why would I do that when I'm so close to success anyway? Maybe another time, if this fails." He synchronized the inator towards City Hall, and was about to hit the button when a platypus tail slapped his face.

Doofenshmirtz stumbled back. "Perry the Platypus? How… what…" He stared at the place the platypus had once been trapped. The locks of the inator had been picked with a hairpin. "Perry the Platypus, where did you even get a hairpin?" Perry pointed at Vanessa's room. "So… you knew all along what I was planning, then?" The platypus nodded. "And you still let me finish the inator?" Another nod. "Well… thank you, I guess. But this also means war!" He took the book he'd wanted to read that morning and held it over his head as a weapon. Perry balled his fists. Ah, even though he always lost, he couldn't get enough of their fights.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note:** _Final chapter, concluding the 'episode' on a relatively ambiguous note. More Phindace and Ferbella in this one. I hope you all enjoyed reading it. Please review!  
_

 **Chapter Four**

Candace Flynn blinked, coming to. The first sensation she registered was the touch of a soft shirt against the back of her head. It momentarily puzzled her – why would she be lying against somebody's chest? – but her drowsy mind soon went for the obvious solution. _Jeremy…_ She flipped over to her side, burying her head against the shirt, and then reached out for where she knew her boyfriend's hand should be. After a few tries she got it and tugged it over to her chest.

Ah, it felt good cuddling up to him like this. His arm on her chest, gently moving up and down, her head on his chest peacefully listening to the sound of his heartbeat. She moved her head a little more upwards towards his face. His pointy nose did poke the top of her head while she was getting there, but the sound of his breathing mixing with hers somehow made it much more comfortable. She felt even more at home, more at ease than she would have imagined she would be when in this situation with Jeremy.

But wait a minute. Since when did Jeremy have a pointy nose?

A horrible chill crept up her spine. She opened one eye and saw an orange shirt and a very steeply curved chin – or rather lack thereof. She then opened both eyes.

"Hi Candace!"

"PHINEAS!"

She scooted off him as quick as she possibly could and wobbly stood up. "How… why… what am I…"

"You fell asleep and your head landed on top of my chest!" her brother cheerfully informed her. "We didn't want to wake you, so I just stayed here and watched you while you slept. You look really adorable when you sleep, you know?"

"I… I…" Candace stammered. What should she say to this? Could she say anything? Shouldn't she just get out of here before her face would turn redder than an apple? "I need a moment. Of quiet. Alone." She sped off towards the side of the house. "Sure thing, Candace!" she could barely hear Phineas yell after her.

She caught her breath only when she was safely away from the group of kids. "All right Candace, nothing to be freaked out about" she told herself. "Phineas is as oblivious as always to any disturbing implication whatsoever, and what really happened anyway? I just slept with my brother, that's all." She blinked. "Okay, that sounded a _lot_ less dirty in my head." She really should stop talking now before her rambling moved into strange territory. Of course that didn't help a thing, as the monologue just continued in her head anyway.

 _Of course it doesn't mean anything. It's just a minor mistake._

 _A minor mistake? I snuggled up to my brother thinking he was my boyfriend! How weird is that?_

 _Plenty weird, but you're acting like it was a disaster. You just slept, Phineas didn't notice anything strange, nor did anyone else from the looks of it, and it didn't really feel that bad, did it?_

 _Maybe you're right… wait, what do you mean by that?_

 _Just that you shouldn't freak out about it. That's what I said, isn't it?_

 _Yes, it is… but that's not what you meant. Your tone sounded a little more… suggestive._

 _I don't know what you're talking about._

 _All right, now you're just lying._

 _… no I'm not._

 _Yes, yes you are. I know my own mental voice when I'm lying._

 _Ah, come on. Even in our most schizophrenic moments, that's just ridicu-_

 _Lalalalalalalala!_

 _… all right, who let_ her _out of the janitors closet?_

 _Wasn't me!_

 _Let's get her back inside before she makes us do crazy stuff again._

 _Yeah, let's – wait._

 _What?_

 _You let her out to distract me, didn't you?_

 _I still don't know what you're talking about._

 _Come on, you've got to do better than that. You let her out so I would forget about our conversation about Phineas._

 _How could I even do that? I've been standing here next to you on this cartoony hologram of a brain the entire time!_

 _In case you haven't noticed, we're inside our mind. Real world physics don't work there. Not that they seem to work much in the actual real world either, but that's not the point. Now what were we thinking about Phineas?_

 _I…_

Candace's mental reverie was ended as suddenly as it began when she got a tap on her shoulder. She shrieked and jumped nearly three feet into the sky before turning to see Ferb. "What are you doing here?"

Ferb pointed to the backyard. "Is the age-accelerator-thingy ready?" He nodded. "That's great! Come on, let's get me back to normal!"

She had already started to walk back when Ferb took her arm and forcibly made her halt. "What's wrong?" In response, he just pointed at her. "With me? Nothing's wrong with me, I just needed a time-out. It was getting a little hot back there and the whole being a kid thing was really messing with my brain, so I had to cool off."

Ferb blinked.

"No, really! I felt a bit confused after all what happened today, after Phineas got that wrong impression from that whole stuff with Isabella and then we got into an argument about the scheme I had planned for her and it really _was_ hot out today, so I just had to lie down and after that I just wanted to be alone for a moment."

Ferb blinked again.

Candace sighed, knowing she was blushing and that that would have given her away even if her brother hadn't been so adept at reading situations. "I know. I know I shouldn't lie, Ferb, it's just…" She sighed. "This is a really weird story and I'm probably reading too much into things anyway and I wouldn't want you to read too much into this, and you'd probably think I'm weird." In response, her brother just smirked and pointed at the backyard. "Yeah, you're right. You guys do freaky stuff every day. I suppose I do trust you with the story, it's just… not now, okay? I really want to be changed back to normal now. Being your age is strange. As is looking up to you."

Ferb grinned, but nodded anyway as he and Candace walked into the garden. Candace felt in a lighter mood now. She was going to change back to normal and be a teenager again, and then all that strange stuff would end. Sure, there was the matter of that talk she'd just promised Ferb, but maybe he would forget about it or she could ask Phineas to build her an invention that would make him forget. She was sure she could solve that problem, given some time. Everything was going to turn out all right now. Nothing could mess this up anymore.

Yeah, she really shouldn't have thought out of turn.

Standing in the center of the garden talking to Phineas and Isabella was the one person she hadn't wanted to see this day – her boyfriend, Jeremy Johnson. Candace couldn't help but freeze on the spot.

With her rotten luck, it didn't take long for Jeremy to notice her. "Hey, is that…" he began.

"That… that's our second cousin" Phineas cut him off, scratching behind his ear. "She's… grandma Lorraine's granddaughter. No, greataunt. Greataunt Lorraine's daughter. Granddaughter. She lives far away from here. Normally, I mean."

Well, at least he tried.

"That's right!" Isabella piped up. "This is Lisa – she's their second cousin, and she's with the Fireside Girls! We've been hanging out with her all day."  
Jeremy looked at both kids with an air of uncertainty. "Guys, I don't want to accuse you of anything…"

"Why would you need to?" Phineas said, in a wavering tone that sounded unusually cheerful even for his standards.

"Because she really does look a lot like Candace." He took a step towards her, and Candace could feel his glare inspect her. She couldn't hold it and burst out crying. "Yes, it's me! I got shrunk by some weird shrink ray and now the boys have built a machine to get me back to normal before you could see it, and I told them to lie to you because I didn't want you to see me small and ugly and not want to date me anymore and then we would break up and it would be horrible and, and…" She was crying so hard that Ferb, who was still standing next to her, got out an umbrella.

"Calm down, Candace" Jeremy said soothingly. "Nothing's going to happen. I'm not going to break up with you."

Candace looked at him skeptically. "Really?"

"Really" Jeremy assured her. "Sure, it's weird to see you so small, but it's kind of cool too… as long as it's reversible, of course. You not trusting me enough to still love you after this… well, _that's_ kind of uncool. I told you that when we were in Paris, didn't I? Or am I just dragging up old stuff now…"

"Oh, that's okay" Phineas reassured him. "We've been having flashbacks all day."

Jeremy nodded. "Anyway Candace, I can't say I like what you did, but I'm certainly not going to break up with you over it."

Candace looked up and gave him a smile of unbridled relief. She ran into his arms…

…and only then realized just how much taller he was than her now.

She must have let her discomfort show, because Jeremy frowned. "Candace? Is something wrong?"

"I'm fine" Candace replied, letting go of him and looking up at his face. "I'm fine, it's just…" Yes, she still thought he was handsome and dreamy, but hugging him like this just felt weird. It was like… like he was so much older than her now. So much more mature and grown-up and serious and… and average. Dull, almost. It was a state of being that she wasn't sure she was ready for yet, a chasm that their sudden age gap had widened. There was a world of differences between the wacky surroundings she lived in and the adult life, and she suddenly wondered whether she was ready to cross that bridge.

She kind of didn't want to cross that bridge. Yes, she would be with Jeremy, but… she snuck a peek at his tall stature again. It was almost intimidating. Besides, he was nice and sweet for sure, but was that all she wanted in a boyfriend? Could that be enough? She needed someone who was more than that, someone who was creative and smart and youthful and cheerful and inspiring, someone like Ph…

Oh no.

No, no no no. She had not just thought that.

That explained what her subconscious had just been trying to hide from her. It made it crystal clear.

"Are you okay, Candace?" Isabella wondered. She gave her a vague nod.

"You know, I can come back later" Jeremy suggested uneasily. "After you guys have fixed this."

 _He thinks I need to be_ fixed _?_ Candace thought. Although she knew Jeremy hadn't and would never have intended it that way, it still stung. She tried to focus on something else. "You want to come back here?"

"I got off from work early and thought that maybe we could go out to get a burger or something" Jeremy replied. "Would you be okay with that?"

Candace's own non-reaction surprised her. She should have been delighted, but instead she was paralyzed and could only nod. She barely registered it when Jeremy said something to her brothers and left the yard. Her attention was on one thing only.

She had thought of what she wanted in a boyfriend, and the name of her brother had popped into her mind. She had been thinking about _boyfriends_ , and she had thought of her _brother_. Her _brother_.

It was explainable, of course. All perfectly reasonable. She had just gotten a skewed perception on Jeremy from that weird encounter, and it was messing with her brain. Making her consider other guys, and what traits they should have. So what if Phineas happened to have a lot of those. So what if he was a kind, understanding guy with whom she could fully be herself and oh no.

She was on the verge of developing a… a crush, on her _brother_. While dating Jeremy, she had somehow gained a crush on her _full sibling_. Who was four years younger than she was. Who had a girlfriend-wannabe already in Isabella. Who had a _triangle_ for a _head_ … what? That was really weird and kind of off-putting! But not off-putting enough, apparently. She was still interested. In… in… Phineas…

Just as she figured she was either going back into an internal monologue, lose her mind completely, or pass out, Buford giving her a shove in the side returned her to the land of the living. The object of her affections (No, no, she would not call him that, not even mentally. The object of her _delusions_. That sounded better. Slightly) groaned. "Buford!"

"You asked if anybody could wake her up!" Buford said defensively. "I could, and I did! You're welcome!"

Phineas continued frowning at him for a few moments, but then he cheerfully turned back to Candace. "Sorry about that" he said. "Who knew random green de-aging rays would give you weird zoning-out spells, right?"

"Yeah. Right." Candace cast a cautious glance around her. Phineas was oblivious as usual, but Ferb had a strongly suspicious look on his face while Isabella and Baljeet both looked confused. This wasn't good. "So, is the machine ready to get me back to normal?"

"Right this way, Candace" Phineas replied, smiling so brightly that Candace couldn't help but crack a little smile as well. Ah, that was the optimism she loved him for.

 _As. A._ _ **Sibling.**_

Her brothers led her onto some kind of platform next to a large machine-thingy with a ray on top. Considering the fact that some previous rays hadn't involved a specific platform, Candace wouldn't be surprised if Phineas and Ferb had added this just for fun.

"All right, now hold still" Phineas instructed her. "Gretchen, turn on the machine!"

"Aye aye, Phineas!" the brunette Fireside Girl whom Candace hadn't even realized was still there replied. In fact, she hadn't realized any of them were still there except for the core group of Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, Buford and Baljeet. Didn't those girls have anything else to do? Or wouldn't they get their patches until the whole project was done? Ah, well. Time to do what Phineas had told her and brace herself.

The moment after she had thought that a wide green ray zapped out from the machine and hit her. She was enveloped in a flash of light and when she opened her eyes again, the others were back to their usual sizes. Candace blinked a few times before breaking into a smile and a sigh of relief. "You did it! You really did it!"

"We certainly did!" Phineas replied enthusiastically. "Good job, Ferb! And we even have four minutes left to go before Jeremy comes back!"

Candace blinked. "Wait, what? Jeremy told you when he was coming back?" Phineas nodded. "In _four_ minutes?" Another nod. "Oh no no no no!"

"I do not get it" Baljeet piped up. "Is something wrong?"

"My hair is wrong!" Candace exclaimed. "My clothes, my shoes, my hands, my general look… I didn't prepare anything! I look horrible!"

Phineas shook his head in a half-chuckle. "Why must you girls always be so dramatic? You look fine, Candace. Didn't I tell you this morning that you looked pretty?" He turned to his brother. "Candace is pretty, isn't she Ferb?"

Ferb gave his sister a good look before replying. "Yes, yes she is. Although not like Vanessa. Or Isabella, for that matter."

The crowd fell silent. Most just stared at Ferb, while Phineas looked slightly confused and Isabella's face was a mixture of shock and slight happiness that at least somebody had noticed her. They might have stood there just silently staring at Ferb – who only blinked in return – for a long time if not for the sound of a very familiar car horn.

Candace smiled maniacally. "It's mom! Oh, you're going to be so busted this time! Mom mom mom mom mom!" She sped off into the house, towards the front door. Jeremy was forgotten. The matter with Phineas was… postponed until further notice. None of it mattered right now.

It was busting time.

oooooooo

Meanwhile at Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated, the fight was still on and both sides were looking for something to gain the edge as how it was now, no one would get a clear shot at the inator long enough to use it.

Perry and Doofenshmirtz had switched from using books to tools (which were conveniently lying around) to clothing (well, Perry had swung his hat at Doofenshmirtz, which had somehow made the old fool fling out his shoe in retaliation. It had not ended well for him) to kitchen utensils when they had somehow ended up there. They had also been interrupted twice, the first time when Vanessa came in to grab a snack and to ask them to please be quiet, there was a horror marathon on TV, which had caused Doofenshmirtz to launch a rant on the evilness of modern television. ("And that's the _wrong_ kind of evil, Perry the Platypus. I may be evil, but did I ever traumatize a poor kid by tempting them to watch something that might scar them for life? Hm, I actually might have done that once or twice, but that was with adults, not innocent children. I'm not the kind of guy who does that to kids. Do I look like a guy who would – don't answer that.") The second interruption had been a phone call which turned out to be a telemarketer, causing Doofenshmirtz to launch yet another rant (seriously, how did the guy not have a sore throat already?) about how they want to sell you stupid stuff you never asked for and that he should make a Telemarketing-Desintegrator-Inator. Perry was actually half-considering turning a blind eye to that one, considering how often he'd heard his host parents complain about the same thing.

Anyway, by this point they had managed to get the fight back to the front of the laboratory, where Doofenshmirtz, for all his faults, was still protecting himself pretty well. Perry finally got tired of it and decided to take drastic action. He swung his hat again, this time upwards to the ceiling. Doofenshmirtz predictably followed it with his eyes, allowing Perry to jump up and smack him in the face with his tail so hard that he toppled over before gracefully landing, his hat landing on his head. With Doofenshmirtz momentarily on the floor, Perry ran over to the inator.

When he looked through the telescope to aim, though, Perry saw the boys and a clearly teenaged Candace standing in the yard. Though part of him groaned at all his work being for nothing, the other part was happy that everything was back to normal and proud of his boys. He watched as Candace ran off, undoubtedly to get her mom, and then momentarily hesitated which button to press. Doofenshmirtz had said the fire button was labeled 'self-destruct', right? And the button labeled 'fire' was a trap, as he'd experienced so painfully. That meant the coffee maker button had to be the real self-destruct button…

He pressed it, but to his surprise a ray shot out towards Phineas and Ferb's yard nevertheless. Perry watched through the telescope as the ray hit the machine the boys had built and both enlarged and aged it. The machine grew bigger and older until it was too big and too old to hold together and then exploded, raining into pieces into the neighbors' yards.

While Perry was still aghast at the scene, Doofenshmirtz suddenly showed up to kick him away through the air, making him land against the wall and hit his head pretty hard, rendering him immobile for a few moments. "Gotcha!" the scientist exclaimed. "I… I don't know what happened there with the self-destruct button though. I was sure I had it figured out. I should have had it figured out, considering that, you know, I made the thing in the first place. Let's see, the fire button was the trap, the coffee maker was the fire-thing, so that means the self-destruct button should be the real self-destruct button. So if I press it…" The scientist pressed the button, and true to his word, the inator promptly exploded and covered his face with soot. "Yup, told you. So now I destroyed my own inator. Curse you, Perry the Platypus. Again." He curiously looked at Perry. "Maybe I should get a real job one of these days, don't you think? It can't be more exhausting than this."

Perry grinned, then took out his parachute and jumped off the balcony. He could get where Doofenshmirtz was coming from. As much as he enjoyed his job from time to time, it really was tiring. At last it was now time to go back to his family.

oooooooo

Candace crossed the distance to the front door within seconds and managed to get to the car before the car door had even opened. She opened the door and tugged on her mother's arm. "Mom mom mom, come, quick! It's still there now!"

Linda sighed. "Not again, Candace…"

"Yes, yes again, and this time they're going to be busted!" Candace insisted. "If you'll just come along before it disappears!" She frowned. "And why didn't you answer my phone calls throughout the day?"

"I had my cell phone turned off" Linda replied. Candace looked aghast. "I'm sorry honey, but your calls tire me out and this was a really special convention. I couldn't stop everything I was doing just to see what the boys aren't doing." Candace continued to glare at her. "Fine, maybe it was too harsh, but considering I just looked and I have ten unanswered calls from you today alone... tell you what, I'll come with you right away to make up for it. Lawrence, will you take care of getting the car and everything in it inside?"

"Sure thing, darling!" Lawrence replied. "We picked up lots of priceless artifacts at the antique convention. Just wait until you see them Candace, they will blow your mind!"

"Yeah, yeah, right" Candace absentmindedly said. "Come on, mom, no time to lose!"

She dragged her mother back through the house, through the back door, and into the backyard. "See, mom? What did I tell you?"

"Oh that is nice, Candace" Linda complimented. "Look at how empty and clean the backyard looks compared to that of the neighbors! They should really clean it up, it looks ridiculous. What do they even want with all that scrap metal out there?" She turned to Phineas and the others. "Anyway, who wants a snack? We've got special antique pie from the convention!" The remaining kids (the Fireside Girls were gone by now) cheered, to which Linda smiled and went inside.

Candace, in the meantime, was just left staring at where the invention that had turned her back into a teenager had been just under a minute ago. "But, but, but, but, but…"

"What's antique pie?" Isabella wondered.

"It sounds kinda gross" Buford chimed in.

"It's an old pie recipe from the 1800s!" Phineas told them. "Dad says they made the best pie then. Considering they bought it at the convention, the pie itself is probably also from the 1800s." He paused. "Yeah, probably best not to think about that too much." He looked down at the sound of a familiar chatter. "Oh there you are, Perry."

"And that makes three" Ferb said, putting down another vertical line on his notepad. They all headed inside, while Candace slumped and walked in after them. Yet another day, her brothers had accomplished the impossible and her own busting attempts had been thwarted. And now, with pie on the table, Perry back from wherever he went, it looked like everything had just gone back to normal, as if nothing weird had happened today at all. Everything was almost the same again.

Almost.

And in a world where everything seemed to repeat itself every day, it was those little things that actually did change that might eventually make the difference.

 **THE END.**


End file.
